Pages

Tuesday 15 October 2013

Hollywood & Bollywood News Updates 15th October

Shameless Product Plugs in Music Videos

story about product placement in music videos
We're aware the idea of "selling out" and the backlash it used to incur against artists doesn't hold the same weight as it did in the nineties, but if we wanted to watch blatant product placement in our entertainment we'd just stick to watching Bravo TV. Musicians have been shilling products since before Wayne and Garth held up a Pepsi can, but the product placement in music videos has gone from subtle to center stage. When music videos made the shift from TV to online (remember The BOX anyone?) record labels starting pumping out music videos as a source of revenue and not just an extension of the musician's "artistic vision." Pretty soon it's going to be Geico lizards singing backup while Gucci Mane raps with a Dairy Queen Blizzard tattooed on his face
Britney Spears – "Work B ** h"

While everyone was clamoring for Brit's latest comeback single, not much has changed since her Femme Fatale album of 2011. Tanned abs? Check. Flashy Underwear? Yep. Over-the-top product placement of her latest perfume? Absolutely! Just like her video for "Hold It Against Me," where she reportedly made half a million to hold product props, her latest single, "Work B ** h," is no different — except this time she's pushing her Fantasy Twist perfume instead of Radiance. Subtle product placement is one thing, but in this video we are literally gagged with it — as one of scenes features a dancer using a Beats by Dre speaker as an S&M ball-gag. In addition to plugs for the casino Planet Hollywood where she has a two-year residency performing, Britney proves if you want to make the big bucks with corporate sponsors… you better work, b ** h. Avril Lavigne – "Rock N Roll"

Avril Lavigne is a lot of things — but a rock star is not one of them. In her video for song "Rock Star," the product placement makes an appearance before the music even begins. Her gentle guitar strumming is interrupted by "her new Sony phone is ringing," making us cringe before she starts warbling about ripped jeans and "hipster bulls**t." She's obviously very cozy with Sony since their shiny electronics also make a star appearance in he video for "What the Hell." That's exactly what we were thinking. No Doubt – "Settle Down"

Here's another case of an artist plugging the brand they're a spokesperson for. As Gwen is on her way driving to the uber cool party in a shipping container, she carefully applies her L'oreal lipgloss to achieve her signature red lip and makes us all ill in the process. Maybe their next video can be her sitting by her vanity applying L'Oreal RevitaLift after their live gig? Does Tony approve of this?
Ke$ha — "We R Who We R"

Given her penchant for whiskey, we would have expected to see a Jack Daniels plug in Ke$sha's videos, but it turns out the party girl prefers Revolucion Tequila, which makes plenty of appearances in her single "We R Who We R." Not that we set the bar for artistic integrity for Ke$ha very high. The song's mantra could apply to her entire career, she's unapologetic about her image and "dancin' like we're dumb," lyrics; so good for her. Tequila and flashy watches naturally fit in the dance party concept of the video, but what's with the constant reference to the dating website 'Plenty of Fish' on the DJ's laptop? Turns out, the site had a partnership with Interscope Records. Now we'll forever wonder, is that guy is REALLY DJing at the bar or his he just cruising for dates?

Miley Cyrus: The Warning Signs Were There


 
A lot of people were left feeling confused, scared, and alone after the events of Aug. 25, 2013. We watched formerly beloved American icon Miley Cyrus quite literally fall (over) from grace into a bent position creating the twerk seen 'round the world. We were forced to ask ourselves, how did this happen? How did she so quickly transition from Hannah Montana to a sexually explicit teddy bear, singing about narcotics while suffering from an undiagnosed tongue condition? The truth is this progression has not been a quick one by any means, the warning signs have been there all along.
In 2008 (age 15), Miley caused controversy by posing for photographer Annie Lebovitz wearing only a bed sheet for her spread in Vanity Fair. Some called the image pornographic, while Disney maintained that she was manipulated and her parents insisted they weren’t present for the shoot.

At the 2009 Teen Choice Awards (age 16), Miley took to the stage for a mild but out of place pole dance, singing her single "Party in the USA." Dressed in short shorts, a tank top exposing her bra and high-heeled black leather boots, she shocked her young audience with a performance now modest in comparison.
Also in 2009 at a wrap party for her movie The Last Song, a then 16 year-old Cyrus was recorded giving a lap dance to 44 year-old Adam Shankman, a producer and judge on 'So You Think You Can Dance.' Though Shankman is openly gay, Miley's behavior was suggestive to say the least.
In December of 2010 (age 18), a video was released of Cyrus smoking out of a bong and giggling uncontrollably. Representatives claimed that she was smoking Salvia, a substance similar to marijuana that's legal in most states. Regardless of the claim and legality, Miley told Marie Claire magazine “I'm disappointed in myself for disappointing my fans.”
Between the various stunts pulled throughout her teens, shaving her head in 2012 and turning her online profiles into a veritable smorgasbord of explicit photos, it's no surprise that a now legal (and resentful) Miley Cyrus is still twerking hard to push the envelope. In all fairness, she told us with her single in 2010 that she "Can’t Be Tamed." Perhaps we should have listened.

Danny Boyle Adds Brit Marling to Cast of 'Babylon'


Brit Marling signing on to do Danny Boyle's new TV show
Brit Marling has joined James Nesbitt in director Danny Boyle's Babylon, UK cop drama about an American PR expert who attempts to bolster the image of the London police department. After her breakout in 2010's After Earth, Marling took a few parts in other films, but this will be her first starring role in a TV series. The show would look at every side of police work, like a (hopefully) more inventive Law and Order; with the American character there to bridge cultural differences, this could be the next British/American crossover hit. Boyle will be producing and directing while the show is written by Peep Show alums Sam Bains and Jesse Armstrong. And while Peep Show was a comedy, the amazing way in which it built moments and orchestrated the most elaborate possible embarrassment for its characters speaks to two great storytellers who should be able to transition well to drama.
Boyle seems determined to bring his signature visual style to both UK and American television, with projects developing on both sides of the Atlantic. In addition to Babylon, over here he's working with Simon Beaufoy and Christian Colson, who helped write and produce Boyle's films Slumdog Millionaire and 127 Hours, to beat Michael Bay to the story of the Norweigens who helped destroy Hitler's nuclear facilities. Their project is called Telemark and would appear on FX.
Boyle is confident that both Telemark and Babylon will be able to capture his unique filmmaking style, which is both visually ambitious and adrenaline-filled, despite the limited budget of television. So add Boyle to the list of talent who's stepping over to television from the world of film. Even if it's simply because he believes these two ideas are best suited for series instead of standalone stories, it does make it ever clearer that the move between the two mediums is a lateral one. And with Boyle's last film, Trance, underperforming at the box office, maybe he'll find that TV actually marks a better place for some of his ideas. Either way, it's a great gain for TV fans.

Lea Michele talks about Cory all the time, says friend


Los Angeles: Actress Lea Michele still talks about her late boyfriend Cory Monteith all the time but is being guided through her grief by her friends.

The `Glee` star is still coming to terms with the passing of her co-star and partner from an overdose of heroin and alcohol in July, and while things are still difficult, she is starting to make positive progress, reported People magazine.

"She talks about Cory all the time," said one of Michele`s close friend, adding that she still misses him every day.
The source also said the 27-year-old actress has been receiving lots of support from those around her.
"She really struggled. It was hard to get up every morning. But now, she`s doing ok," the friend added.
An episode of `Glee` in tribute to Cory and his character, Finn Hudson, called `The Quarterback`, aired in the US last week.
The episode included a tear-jerking rendition of Bob Dylan`s `Make You Feel My Love`, performed by Lea, who plays Rachel Berry in the show.

Theatre hosts 'wife-swapping party' to celebrate new play

New York: The `Looking Glass Theatre` is hosting a Halloween "key party" to celebrate its new play `The Goddess`.
The play, which is a comedy about open marriages written by Justine Lambert and Kenneth Nowell, will feature `Questions and Answers` on three nights with a panel of top relationship experts, followed by the wife-swapping party, the New York Post reported.

The panellists include psychologists, an organizer from the `World Sexual Health Day` and a diplomat from the `American Association of Sex Educators and Therapists.


Simon Cowell raps with fellow ‘The X Factor’ judges in new video!

Washington: Simon Cowell, Kelly Rowland, Demi Lovato and Paulina Rubio have collaborated for the first time in a new spoof video for the latest season of `The X Factor USA` Season 3.

The judges of the reality singing talent show performed their own version of a contestants` outlandish rap ` You Better Ask Me to Dance`, which went viral on the internet and garnered 1.2 million views after it started trending on YouTube , BIG CBS LOVE reported.

The video shows the 54-year-old music mogul flanked by his former girlfriend Rowland as he raps.






Lance Bass wants show on 'N Sync


Los Angeles: Singer Lance Bass, who recently reunited with former bandmates of ‘N Sync for performance at an award show, believes there should be a TV reality show to capture their chemistry on camera.

"We see each other a lot, but we never get to see each other all five of us in the same room. It`s such a dynamic, it`s hilarious. We need a reality show when that happens,” Website Gossip Cop quoted Bass as saying.
The 34-year-old denied rumours that the group was set to record new music because singer Justin Timberlake`s hectic schedule means it would be virtually impossible to get everyone in the studio together, reports femalefirst.co.uk.
"Especially with Justin, he`s not going to stop for a very long time. He hasn`t stopped since he was probably eight years old,” said Bass.
The band, which also consisted of JC Chasez, Joe Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick, was popular in the late 1990s. Some of their hits include ‘Bye bye bye’, ‘This I promise you’ and ‘Gone’. They disbanded a decade back.

Man Booker Prize 2013: Will Jhumpa Lahiri’s ‘The Lowland’ win?

Man Booker Prize 2013: Will Jhumpa Lahiri’s ‘The Lowland’ win?

The winner of Man Booker Prize is scheduled to be announced today. Indian-American author Jhumpa Lahiri is among the nominees for the coveted title.
Lahiri’s new novel, ‘The Lowland’, portrays the tale of two brothers set in the backdrop of Calcutta of the 1960s.
The author will create history if she wins the honour because the104 pages long ‘The Lowland’ will become the shortest novel to win the Booker prize ever.
Born in London, 46-year-old Lahiri, who lives in Brooklyn, New York, is the daughter of immigrants from West Bengal.
She has penned three other noted books. Her debut collection of stories, `Interpreter of Maladies`, won the Pulitzer Prize and the PEN/Hemingway Award.
Her novel `The Namesake` was a New York Times Notable Book and was selected as one of the best books of the year by USA Today and Entertainment Weekly, among other publications.
`The Namesake` was also adapted into a film of the same name by acclaimed filmmaker Mira Nair.
Her second book of short stories, `Unaccustomed Earth`, was named one of the ten best books of the year by The New York Times Book Review.
In a review of her latest novel, the New York Times noted: "Jhumpa Lahiri first made her name with quiet, meticulously observed stories about Indian immigrants trying to adjust to new lives in the United States, stories that had the hushed intimacy of chamber music."
"The premise of her new novel, `The Lowland,` in contrast, is startlingly operatic," the influential US daily said calling it "certainly Ms. Lahiri`s most ambitious undertaking yet," that "eventually opens out into a moving family story."

Award Watch: Lizzy Caplan in 'Masters of Sex'


Lizzy Caplan as Virginia Johnson in Masters of Sex (season 1, episode 1) - Photo: Craig Blankenhorn/SHOWTIME - Photo ID: mastersofsex_101_1057_NB
With only three episodes of Masters of Sex under our belt (get it?), is it too early to call an Emmy nomination for Lizzy Caplan?
It bodes well that Academy has a massive crush on premium cable dramas and starts rewarding them with nominations almost as soon as they hit our eyeballs. But Caplan, so far the standout in a series with massive potential, may not need that bias working in her favor. To know Lizzy Caplan's work is to love her, whether you prefer Janis Ian (Mean Girls) or Casey Klein (Party Down). Virginia Johnson, however, is the role that will prove wrong anyone who thinks her range stops at deadpan and sardonic.
It's a huge, juicy part — the kind that's unfortunately rare for actresses in their 30s, or frankly, actresses at all. We feel like we know everything about Michael Sheen's character almost from the minute we meet him. Dr. Masters is a workaholic; distant from his wife; so desperate to continue his work that he'll do anything to make that possible. But Virginia is an enigma. She's fearless and aggressive in pursuing her own life. Other women — like the admissions secretary at the college — resent her for it, and Caplan plays the swallowed anger of a person who realizes that it's best to politely demand than to fight back. She knows how to work people and their prejudices: in her interview with Masters, her words are bold, but Caplan softens her voice. She's not ashamed to enjoy sex, and doesn't believe that it always has to come with an emotional attachment. (In the pilot, this freedom seduces and then terrifies Dr. Haas.) But she's also warm to Bill's patients and his lonely, frazzled wife. She charms everyone who hits their exam table. We can see why the study would have failed fantastically without Virginia's bedside manner. Masters is afraid of her too, though, and he seems relieved when he can blame the leak of their couples studies on her. But the indomitable Virginia just hires herself right back.
The tension between Masters and Virginia is the main reason to tune into Masters of Sex so far, and we're looking forward to seeing how it plays out. What do you think of the Showtime series so far? Does Lizzy Caplan have your Emmy vote? Discuss in the comments!




7 Ways the 'Carrie' Remake Could Be a Better Adaptation of Stephen King's Book


Chloe Moretz (left) and Julianne Moore star in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures and Screen Gems' horror thriller CARRIE.
Brian De Palma's adaptation of Carrie ranks as one of the best film versions of a Steven King story. But while the 1976 version created some fantastic moments of cinema history (the splitscreens, the slow motion, everything Piper Laurie) the remake coming out at the end of this week still has plenty of untouched source material to work with. Here are afew suggestions of things that director Kimberly Piece hopefully considered adding to her version of the high school horror tale.
1. Actual Teenagers: While Sissy Spacek's performance was perfect for De Palma's heightened, surreal atmosphere (and even earned her an Oscar nomination), if the new Carrie is looking to be more faithful to the book, one thing they can do is cast actual teenagers. Chloe Grace Moretz is actually 16, so we're off to a good start.
2. "Flexing:" Much is made in the book of how hard Carrie has to work to channel her powers. She practices every night, slowly working her way up to moving heavier, bigger things, until she can flip cars with ease. That's what makes the climax so terrifying — she's making the conscious choice to torture everyone, and since this new films looks to be more of a horror and less of a suspenseful drama, anything that makes Carrie White more evil in the final act is a good idea. This also adds to the whole arc of the story: Carrie is a put-upon girl who would have been able to be accepted if only people had listened and gotten out of her way.
3. People Vote for Carrie: In the 1976 film version, the evil girl Chris replaces all of the actual Prom King and Queen votes with ones for Carrie. In the book, sure, Chris is scheming, but the student body also just seems to get on board with Carrie, who actually proves herself at the prom and has a good time joking and hanging out. It makes the ending that much better, and this a story where everything is in the ending, right?
4. Childhood: One mistake audiences often make is that Carrie's powers are activated in the beginning of the movie. Instead, she's had them since childhood, and her mother's control actually stems equally from fear that they will return. The book has a fantastic story, told from the perspective of a neighbor, about a four-year-old Carrie bringing a rain of stones down on the house after her mother punishes her.
5. They Are Going to Laugh At You: In the 1976 version, Carrie just imagines the prom guests laughing at her, but in the book, such is that they can't help themselves and really do. Because, if we're being honest, high school is really, really embarrassing and awkward. And Chris is, in the end, pulling a prank. A cruel prank, but still. The slowly mounting horror is even better when offset because the characters just can't help but laugh... until it's too late.
6. Sue At Home: There's probably not much time in a feature film for nicest-of-the-mean-girls Sue's entire arc, which includes worries about college, a pregnancy scare, and falling in love with Brad (the sap who ends up taking Carrie to prom). But in the book, the only reason she isn't murdered by Carrie is that she chooses to stay home from the prom, giving us a window into what's happening in the rest of the town. Which leads to —
7. Get Rid of the Whole Damn Town: In the novel, the carnage goes far beyond just the school gymnasium, enough that the premise of the book is an exploration of one of the greatest American tragedies. Given that technology is no longer a hindrance, hopefully we'll get to see the full range of what Carrie can do.

Mallika Sherawat accepts marriage proposal!


Mumbai: Actress Mallika Sherawat, who is seeking a life partner through a reality dating show `The Bachelorette India-Mere Khayalon Ki Mallika`, has accepted marriage proposal from one of the suitors.

During an impromptu act, contestants were asked to impress Mallika and that`s when Jashn Singh proposed her in a "filmy style" asking Mallika`s hand.
She was not only impressed but went all gaga over the proposal and promptly accepted it much to everyone`s surprise, a source said.
Recently, Mallika planted a kiss on model-actor Kiran Sagoo`s cheek.
He is amongst the 15 suitors who are on the show to capture her attention, the source added.
`The Bachelorette India -Mere Khayalon Ki Mallika` is a spin-off from the American competitive reality dating game show.
The series revolves around a single bachelorette and a pool of romantic interests, trying to impress her. The show is a journey to find true love for the actress on small screen.

Karan Johar’s Koffee date with Kapoor cousins

Mumbai: Speculations have been rife that Salman Khan might open the newest season of Karan Johar’s celebrity talk show ‘Koffee with Karan’.

But if the latest buzz is anything to go by, then Kapoor cousins- Ranbir and Kareena - might make an appearance in the show together.
The Kapoors were being considered by Zoya Akhtar to play siblings in her next but owing to date issues, she had to drop the idea of casting the real life brother-sister jodi.
Ranbir Kapoor is a superstar in the making while Kareena has already proved her mettle in the industry. Many from Bollywood’s famous Kapoor khandaan have made appearances in several films together.
‘Kal Aaj Aur Kal’ featured- Prithviraj Kapoor, Raj Kapoor and Randhir Kapoor. Brothers Randhir and Rishi have worked in ‘Housefull 2’. And Abhinav Kashyap’s latest –‘Besharam’- starred Rishi, his wife Neetu and son Ranbir.
The audiences might have to wait longer to see Ranbir and Kareena work in a film together but who knows they might get to see them sizzle on KJo’s ‘Koffee with Karan’ soon!


Learning experience to work with Salman: Pulkit Samrat

Mumbai: Actor Pulkit Samrat, who will feature in a cameo in Salman Khan-starrer `Jai Ho`, says working with the star has been a learning experience.

"I had a great time to be a part of this film. It`s always a learning experience to work with Salman Khan. To be working with a star and see him performing his scenes is indeed a pleasure. I would only say I have learnt a lot from him. I am very excited about this film," Pulkit said.
The young actor was last seen in `Fukrey`.
Talking about his part in `Jai Ho`, he said: "It`s a guest appearance. It`s not a big role, but I come in during a crucial scene in the film. We have not finished the shooting yet. Some few portions are still left."
Directed by Sohail Khan, `Jai Ho` also features Tabu.



Shraddha Kapoor keen to move beyond romance in films

Mumbai: Actress Shraddha Kapoor, recently seen in successful love saga `Aashiqui 2`, says she wants to go beyond the genre of romance on screen, and try her luck at different roles, especially a grey character.

"The fact that people liked `Aashiqui 2` and my character (Aarohi) in it, they now want to see me in a lot more romantic films. I would like to do romantic films, but honestly I would like to do beyond that as well," Shraddha told reporters here at an event.
"I would like to do other genres also and it will be interesting," she added.
Shraddha, daughter of actor Shakti Kapoor, made her Bollywood debut with `Teen Patti` in 2010. But she earned popularity only with `Aashiqui 2`.
Asked about the kind of roles she wants to play, Shraddha said: "If I will get the opportunity to be a part of a very interesting character that has grey or white shades, then why not? I would love to play it."
Meanwhile, the actress will soon be seen in Mohit Suri`s next `The Villain`. Besides, she has also teamed up with director Rohit Shetty for his next project, which is expected to go on floors soon.


Does Elli Avram have a soft corner for Salman Khan?

Mumbai: Elli Avram has more foes than friends inside the house of ‘Bigg Boss 7’.

The pretty lass, who is all set to sizzle on the silverscreen with her debut Hindi film ‘Mickey Virus’ opposite Manish Paul, seems to be in awe of Salman Khan.
Inmates Kamya Punjabi, Tanishaa and Pratyusha often take a dig at Elli for her antics while Gauhar is the only one who has lend a helping hand to the foreigner.
The Swedish beauty, who is otherwise quite good at speaking Hindi, has irked many of her fellow inmates who think that Elli pretends that she doesn’t understand the language when the Bollywood hunk interacts with her on the show.
Elli comes across as someone who is quite a charmer and converses well in Hindi with the inmates of the house. Kamya Punjabi feels Elli acts naive in front of Salman, the host of the popular reality show.
This weekend, when the Bollywood heavyweight interacted with the inmates of the house, he too showed a liking for her. Elli too admitted that she would like to work with Salman, after Manish Paul, her first co-star, said that he has no reservations in letting Elli work with the superstar.
Are you looking forward to seeing Elli romance Salman onscreen? Let us know.

The Shah Rukh Khan column: Of balance, belief and hashtags


The superstar writes his first column in dna After Hrs on science and superstition. Tells us how he feels pressured by the 140-character Twitter limit and new words like twerking. Read on.
Just a few days back my friends at the dna paper called upon me to write a monthly column for their newspaper. A Common perception about actors is that they are incompetent at everything other than acting (and some are supposedly incompetent at that too). We aren’t exactly meant to have other interests (well, except of the controversial kind) but as it happens, I do. I like to write.
Of late I have spent time on twitter like we all do and on the internet in general. The combined pressure of 140 alphabet limit and reading new words like ‘Twerking’ (described aptly by someone on the net as ‘masquerading an ass seizure as dancing’), has made me believe that I could contribute to the all round well being of the society with my writings also.
What actually convinced me was, that if Hashtags # (a sign we earlier used for cuss words), can convey emotions, then my words on paper can also seem like pearls of wisdom and its about time my smart, genius side became public. So I decided to grab the axe and hack my foot myself by entering into 12 such potentially earth shattering observations of the world around me.
I have thus come up with the “brilliant” and “original” idea of writing about the 12 Sun Signs. But wait...This isn’t your usual weekly or daily astro prediction column. That is best left to Mr. Bejan Daruwala, Marjorie Orr or Linda Goodman. I just think it’s a good place to start. 12 Columns, 12 Sun Signs, 12 traits I can write about. So I will pick the traits of these 12 Sun Signs and choose one that stands out the most then I’ll write around it. I’ll write my personal experience, my point of view or just something I see happening around me. Confused. Ok, read on.
This month we begin with Libra.
Librans are known for balance and harmony. The word balance tends to convey stillness, but oddly I look at balance as something that we need in life to keep things moving. It’s something that we all have to do...everyone from a tightrope walker to an accountant requires balance. An accountant has to balance debit with credit, while a star has to balance a public life with a private life. Most people have to balance lies and truth, or right and wrong. In my years of experience, one of the most intriguing balances I have had to find is that between Science and Superstition.
In India we are intrinsically tied to Superstition. It’s a natural nuance of our lives. I am a science student (over 90 percent in Electronics if I may add). This does not mean that I can open up a piece of electronic equipment and put it back together again. On that front I am like everybody else in the world: left holding one little ‘gizmoic’ part of the equipment, scratching my head, wondering, “where was this supposed to fit?” but more about this in another column.
Being of a scientific bent of mind, I always take the scientific course of action. If a part of my body is disintegrating or broke, I am more than willing to change it at the hands of an expert, namely a Surgeon. I have had eight such removals and implants done over the course of 20 years.
Thankfully, so far, no surgeon has come to me post operation and quizzed, “Eh, SRK I have this little piece of green spleen left-over from last night’s procedure, can you tell me if it belongs to you or then it could be bed number 42’s.”
So I am a believer of science and its many benefits. Having said that, I would still not go for a bungee jump or do a skydive on Friday the 13th. Hashtag # Just Saying.
Some years ago I was faced with the balancing act of weighing my scientific bent against superstition. One evening I got to know my spine had a prolapsed disc and I had to go under the knife. It’s a big surgery. It’s considered equivalent to a brain surgery (from which I might just have benefitted more!) because it involves the spinal cord.
As it happens, it also proved to be one of the grandest acts of equanimity I ended up engaging in.
Everybody began to foretell doom. They listed all that could go wrong. They said I could be paralysed or rendered voiceless. Thoughts raced in my own head as well. The doctors advised surgery as soon as possible.
I was as scared as anyone might be at the thought of their spine being tampered with so I gave a year to those who said they could cure my prolapse through the prolapse of medical science.
Let me make it clear that I am not trying to undermine people’s beliefs or superstitions. Different things work for different people. If you believe in something then it works for you. A recent study has proved that people who believe in superstition get the job done better than those who don’t, so who are we to question the world of the unknown and its unkown-ness.
To me it was just intriguing that there was such a wonderful variety of cures and treatments on offer for a serious injury like mine.
My family and friends all suggested different treatments ranging from acupuncture to oil made from the sting of a scorpion. I am proud to tell you that because of the deep desire to keep the ‘BALANCE’ (in caps because that’s the topic) of things unperturbed I tried most of them.
What follows is an account of some of my escapades and misadventures up to the final day of surgery. These are excerpts from my yet unpublished book and as you will read, you will realise there is no stretching or exaggeration of factual happenings. The names of the protagonists have been changed to maintain their privacy and mainly to prevent them from suing or physically assaulting me in the near future.
……The doctor that I went to for, what I will call ‘pin therapy’ is a wonderful doctor. He’s among the leading doctors for this therapy in the world. He also spoke three words of Hindi taught to him by other Indian clients (obviously he didn’t know the meaning of those words, otherwise he would never use them, unless abusing your mom and sister was a part of his therapy).
The thought of him sticking needles in my neck was scary. But I need not have worried. He didn’t want to put needles in my neck, instead he wanted to stick them in my private parts to fix my neck!
As you can imagine it was an extremely hurtful prospect. I was shaken to the core of my being (not to mention, below it).
He was from the Far East and we didn’t understand each other well. He kept repeating, “Take off your clothes, take off your clothes”. So, I took off my shirt, but it didn’t seem to suffice. He continued his chant regardless: ‘take off your clothes.”
Soon I was lying naked on his table and he had these big, big pins in his hands. The rest is too graphic to describe. It was the most humiliating and painful experience of my life.
Ordeal over, I came back marred by blue welts. The only thing that had changed was that now the pain was between my legs and not in my neck. I can tell you it distracted me enough to make me forget my original complaint. Though once I recovered from the onslaught of the pin-pricks, my neck pain resurfaced with a vengeance.
Now and then I think of the good doctor and my upbringing tugs at my conscience. I never thanked him. Maybe I should have sent him a note…in Hindi…just the three words that he had been taught!
……The ‘Energy Experts’ meanwhile, had decided that the reason for my cervical disc prolapse was the direction in which I slept.
So the position of my bed had to be changed. Change is good. Novelty is invigorating; it’s the spice of life. I like change. There were a few problems that came up though. My plasma TV was affixed to the wall keeping in mind the original position of my bed. Taking out those brackets from the wall would have meant re-building it. So the TV stayed where it was and the only way to can watch it was to somehow stand on my head. My bedside lamp shed its light on my bathroom slippers instead of the book that I read in bed. The bathroom door ended up where the TV should have been. Though I must admit, the six episodes of the slightly swaying bathroom door, seemed more interesting than some of the stuff we are subjected to on the idiot box.
The headrest hung inexplicably in mid air without a bed to support it. If I could levitate 10 inches off the ground I might have been able to rest my head on it.
My AC remote did nothing remotely anymore. It needed to be directed towards the fridge to get the AC on. I guess the rays would bounce off the shiny surface and find their way to the infra red sensor on the AC. Strangely the rays did not follow the same reverse path and to switch the damn thing off, I’d need to swing to the bottom of the bed and point in random directions till I’d hear the AC stop breathing.
…I made a frantic call to my surgeon in England. I told him I was coming over to his hospital in the next few days. He was very concerned. He asked, “ Are you in pain’’. ‘No’, I replied, “ I am in my bath tub trying to sleep, apparently this area has the best energies.” Hashtag # Help!
...My friends requested me one last time to see their Panditji before I left for England. They felt his prayers would help me. I agreed because I believe in good wishes and good Karma. The Punditji looked educated and very modern. He asked me about the procedure of the Cervical surgery. I explained it to him in detail. He closed his eyes and said some mantra. Then he looked at me with warm and peaceful eyes, and said, “Are you sure they have to use a Titanium disc?” I said, “ Yeah, it’s the latest invention and really cool.” He sighed, “ Look it is your Karma that you have to undergo this surgery. You cannot escape it. But there is only one thing, Titanium is not your element, can you ask the doctor to use Moonstone instead.”
...The surgery was less painful. It took about an hour and a half. I was informed everything was excellent. As they say in our films… “The operation is successful.”
What was humiliating was the hospital dress code.
I believe a patient in a gown means that he or she is very ill and quite helpless. They need a lot of care and medical attention. It is a sort of uniform that tells you the person wearing it, is deserving of your sympathy and concern. No one expects a Stella McCartney, but at least...at least it should not make you dissolve into a merciless giggle.
Picture a hobbling and helpless patient crossing you, walking slowly away from you. You’re following him with your eyes, visibly moved, at this point your gaze misses his helpless expression entirely and lands unceremoniously on his butt. What purpose does this revealing and utterly humiliating outfit serve? I ask ye all fine people of the medical profession.
Even when I had gone for my knee and ankle surgery in Austria I was forced to wear this silly outfit. I could very well have been in shorts or Bermudas and got my knee operated on. It’s not as if my butt needs to be flashed for easy access to my knee. I think this aspect of clothing needs to be relooked at by the Medical Faculty around the world.
It requires immediate, scientific attention.
As I said, the complete collapse of everyone else’s attempts to cure me through their well meant suggestions, eventually lead me to my spinal surgery. This of course did not deter them from claiming credit for its success when I got home. The horseshoe nailed outside my room in my absence had apparently cast its magic spell on the surgeon.
The ‘Energy Expert’ was convinced that his switching my furniture around had filled the gap in my spine and my friends swore by their Panditji’s imaginary Moonstone too. Maybe it was the Energy Balancing, maybe it was the Surgery, or it could have been the shoeless horse; who knows?
Perhaps faith and science are deeply interconnected. Maybe we just don’t see the balance between them yet. Everything science proves today, it disproves tomorrow and faith in an idea often brings it to its empirical fruition. Superstition is the belief in a supernatural causality, we cannot completely abandon it unless we fully understand the complexity and vastness of nature.
I think it is safe to say that there are uncountable things in this world that will always remain beyond our understanding. Each of us chooses our own beliefs and lives by them and all of us are limited by our own condition. The trick is to respect each and every form of well meaning course of action, belief, superstition and still look up to man’s quest for knowledge (the yearning for scientific discovery), to back it up. That’s what I did.
I chose Titanium over the eeeww Moonstone and it worked for me….TOUCHWOOD!!!

Sidharth Malhotra works out hard for 'The Villain'

Mumbai: Actor Sidharth Malhotra is working out hard to build a bulky look for his next film `The Villain`.

A source close to the actor said: "He has been sweating it out in the gym to get a chiselled physique for his next. The actor has been undertaking rigorous workouts each day to achieve the bulky look."
Sidharth is reportedly also going through intense training sessions for the movie which will see him playing a baddie.
`The Villain` is directed by Mohit Suri and also features Shraddha Kapoor of `Aashiqui 2` fame.
Sidharth, a model-turned-actor made his Bollywood debut with Karan Johar`s `Student Of The Year`. He recently wrapped up shooting for the filmmaker`s new production `Hasee Toh Phasee`.

No comments:

Post a Comment